


Christ, you idiot, I love you.

by dragonism



Series: Brotzly Ficlets [5]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Look they argue but I promise they’re good, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 00:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12445320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonism/pseuds/dragonism
Summary: After a particularly dangerous case, Dirk and Todd get into a particularly desperate argument.





	Christ, you idiot, I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my babes in the Toad... is perfect Groupchat for convincing me to post this.

Dirk Gently is an obnoxious, graceless, asshole.

Todd knows this, he’s always known this. From the day that sugary sweet, strange man threw himself onto the floor of his apartment, to the moment he got himself shot with a harpoon twice in one day. Todd Brotzman was all too fucking aware of Dirk’s inability to simply be careful.

And right now? Oh right now, he loathed him for it.

“You could have got yourself killed!”

“Could have, but I didn’t!”

“Dirk, now is not the time for fucking jokes.” Todd storms through the corridor, throwing back a glare to the detective when he reaches a stop outside the stairwell. “Jesus christ, man, that was ridiculous!”

“Yes but it-“

“No! No buts! Shit, no ifs, or buts, or anything!” Throwing his hands into the air, he shakes his head dramatically, pushing his way through the swing doors and towards the stairs, “They had a gun. An actual gun. Pressed to the back of your head, and you’re telling me you aren’t one bit terrified right now?!”

“I think I might be. I mean I could be. When I’m less... something.” Dirk scrunched his nose. Or at least Todd knew he did. He knew Dirk well enough by now to know the detective always scrunched his nose when describing something he couldn’t quite notate detail to.

“Something. You’re always something. It’s always something!” The trek to his apartment felt long but he got there, angrily pushing at the key and scratching the lock in the process. “I’m sick of it, Dirk. I’m done. I’m over this.”

“Todd, stop.”

“It’s verging on psychopathy! You keep throwing yourself into these stupid situations. You keep almost getting yourself hurt. You could have died today!”

“Stop. Todd, stop. Stop it. Hush.” Was all Dirk could and would repeat as Todd went on. What the Brotzman didn’t see in his fit of rage as he wandered about his apartment was the new tension in his friend’s shoulders; the tears that brimmed in his eyes as he stood frozen- just watching.

“I cannot fucking take it. I can’t take another day of watching you go through case after case pretending that the universe is just gonna save you every time things get too close. It’s stu-“

“SHUT UP.”

Now it was Todd who froze. He jumped slightly at first, thrown off by the shout, and turned to look at Dirk like a rabbit caught in headlights.

“No, wait, I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean t-to-“ Dirk stuttered, pools of wet collecting over his eyes as he clenched his jaw and balled his fists at his sides. Todd watched in bewilderment. In slight fear. “Look. I don’t expect the universe is going to do anything. I don’t expect anything period. The universe is rarely as helpful as it seems and I can rarely anticipate situations like the one we were just in.”

“Then why? Why do it? This...” He huffed a sigh, waving his arms to no avail, “This bullshit. It’s constantly getting you into trouble, it’s constantly putting you in danger, why not just stop?”

Dirk’s expression grew dark with a frown, “This is all I’ve ever wanted to do.”

“Bull.” Todd threw a glare back, standing his ground, “You couldn’t have known that, not for that long, not because of...”

“Because of what?” The detective hissed, taking a defensive step forward, “Because I was in Blackwing? Because I was being held captive? Tested? Tortured? Prodded like a rag doll and left to rot in an all too cheerful cell?”

“That’s not what I-“

“Then what on earth did you mean, Todd?” He shook his head, pacing a little, “Hm? Pray tell? What else could have made it so that I didn’t know that I wanted to be a detective? I wanted to help people, Todd, I wanted to solve cases and have friends and explore the world. I wanted to live as close to a normal life as possible but I just keep getting dragged up right next to the very opposite.”

Todd had retreated a little, frowning but not speaking as Dirk continued.

“Do you think I wanted this? I wanted to put myself and my friends in danger? Did you ever stop to consider maybe I’m just as terrified and confused as anybody else? Shit, what does it even matter to you, hm, it’s not like you’re being forced to be here.”

“What, you think I would just leave?” Finally the shorter of the pair spoke up, taking his own step forward and glaring as he watched the tears finally spill painfully over Dirk’s cheeks, “Do you think I would just leave you? Go back to my normal life- not that I even fucking have one of those anymore.”

“Christ, Todd, yes! Why are you so bloody insistent in staying. I put you into this mess, I will continue to put you into other messes, just go!”

No. That was it. Todd broke, snapped, shouted as his own ears rimmed with tears, “Don’t you understand?! I can’t fucking do that!”

Dirk halted in his strides, gritting his teeth and matching Todd’s tone. “Why the hell not? Nothing’s stopping y-“

“Because! I’m in love with you!”

“Wait, wh-“

“That’s why! God Dirk it’s been so obvious. You’re exactly the reason I’m still here. I fell for you the moment we met. I’ve been falling further since. If I left now, or if something happened to you now, I couldn’t take it.” Todd continued to ramble, unaware of Dirk’s interruption, lost in his own cloud of emotions.

“Todd, wait.”

“You keep saying it doesn’t matter and that I could just leave, but don’t you get it? I don’t want to leave. I want to stay right here for as long as possible.”

“Todd.” Dirk’s voice grew more insistent, sadly to no success.

“You’re my friend, fuck maybe I want you to be more than that, I don’t know! I don’t understand it. This is new to me and I fucking hate it but no matter what happens I can’t hate YOU. I can never hate YOU.”

“Todd! Oh bloody hell, screw it.” With that, Dirk lurched forward, cupping Todd’s cheeks between his hands and pressing their lips together. Hard and desperate, and fast, “Just shut up. Shut up right now.”

Todd didn’t need to be told twice. His breath was caught in his throat, his shoulders dropped and he took less than a second to reattach his lips to Dirk’s, pushing the man back against the wall- to which Dirk provided a small whimper, making the Brotzman scared he’d hurt him until he felt the detective’s hands move to find his hips.

It was like that for a short while. Them grasping, pressing, pleading for contact. For comfort. They needed each other, and in that moment they got each other and more.

When the kiss finally broke, both of them were gasping for air, and Dirk spoke in a breathless tone as Todd’s grip finally loosened on his jacket and fell to place his hands neatly over the detective’s chest, “There was more- to us meeting. When I said that we were meant to meet, I meant every word. And... christ Todd I adore you. I think that much is clear.”

“Then... this? Us? What is this from now on.”

“I’m rather happy to consider us friends, I’d be elated to consider us more than that. Whatever that more may be is up to you.”

“I wouldn’t mind having a boyfriend?” Todd smiled playfully, eyes still red and cheeks still flushed but even so, “I would actually really like having a boyfriend.”

“Hm, as would I. Looks like we’re agreed on that at least.” Dirk returned the smile, but his expression grew somewhat sad, “So, all of that...”

“The argument. Yeah.” Giving an exasperated sigh, Todd shook his head, “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“Leave it behind us and watch a movie?” The smaller man suggested with a shrug, knowing they’d need to address everything later- but for now he just wanted to calm down.

“Sounds like a plan... can we possibly do that cuddling thing whilst doing that?”

“Have you never been cuddled before?”

“Uh...”

“Oh my god. Yes then, yes of course, christ.”

 


End file.
